It has been several years now since my last blog posting and let me tell you so much has happened since then.
Kenny left me May, 31,2012 for another woman, which came as a total shock, not only to me but to Kevin as well. The worse part was that we didn't know he was leaving me, let alone for another woman! His excuse was that he was 57 y/o and was tired of taking care of Gramp and I and wanted to have fun with the rest of his life. Dear reader let me tell you I did not handle the betrayal very well, and I went into such a depression that I was literally looking online for ways to commit a painless suicide. Well God had other plans for me. 
 As I was searching this information I just stopped and asked God for help, because I didn't think I could make it on my own, if anything happened to Gramp. I would be left homeless and I just didn't want to be a burden to anyone else.
 Well as you all know things have not only worked out, but my life has changed so much for the better.
I am now up and walking, becoming healthier through life style changes(I hate the word dieting) and exercising/walking. I have also completed the Fresh Start program through Daytona State College, after being told by a counselor at VocRehab to stay on disability since I had no skills or idea of what I wanted to do. This intern led me to start college for the first time ever! I have since finished my first semester and have registered for fall classes. 
I have also started volunteering at the college and have helped raise and walk for the Relay for Life event this past spring. I also helped with the Earth Day celebration at the college. 
 I am also meeting new friends and going to different parties, lunches, dinners and just plain having fun! On New Years Day I did something I never thought I would do in my life I went zip lining! Not only did I cross something off my bucket list(which I finally made), but I conquered my fear of heights.
 So instead of being bitter at Kenny I thank him for making a stronger more confident woman.

I Hate Change

I hate Change! I like to have a routine, but this month has been a month of change for me and I hope for the better.
I have had the same phone number for over 16 years with AT&T but I have been fighting with them to remove long distance from my service since June. I call they credit me for the charges but instead of removing the service they just credit my account so last month I finally gave them the ultimatum either remove the service or I change phone carries. The next day I received a flier from Bright House for a special bundle offer, talk about an Omen.
Well I set up to have my service change just in case I was charged again for long distance.
So on the 20th I looked at my bill and yep there it was a charge for long distance and credits for last month, needless to say I called and told the operator I wanted to remove my service and why. I also told her to look and see that I not only had not have any late payments but that I always paid a few dollars extra.
My next change is taking a little longer as I have transition from one e-mail address which I've had for over 10 years to another because it has been hacked twice by spammers. The first time I just set up another e-mail account for my friends and family and kept this one for all my news letters and contests. Well I am now giving up this. I blame the new Facebook privacy or lack of changes for these hackings.
The worst change I'm going through is the "change of life" one minute I freezing the next I'm sweating, and the weather this year has been crazy making my migraines worse so I've been feeling terrible, but muddling through.
I just hope the rest of the year is calmer and if there are changes they are one at a time.

Looking Back

2009 was somewhat of a good year for me.
 I found many new friends via Facebook playing Mafia Wars and connected with old ones that my best friend Frances was keeping me informed about.
 I got to go to a wedding and and see pictures of friends babies soon after they were born instead of having to wait for someone to e-mail me some. 
 Ken and I reconciled and are learning to live with each other flaws and all(mostly his)..HA HA
 I "met" an Aunt and an Uncle and his wife this summer. I learned this week that my oldest niece had another baby, a boy, and I remembered that I used to call her My Monkey.
 I have been "de-hoarding" my house. I can't believe the stuff  I had packed away. I am talking large rubbermaid tubs full plus suitcases and boxes.
 Ken and I discovered Mafia Wars(thanks Eric Streeter) on Facebook and that kind of helped our marriage some because it gave us a common interest.
 I enjoy going on facebook and making funny little comments or observations.
 Ken had eye surgery this month on his right eye and can now see some out of it  for the first time in 27 years.
 But the worst part of 2009 was I "met" my brother Michael. The man was locked up in a mental hospital after being declared unfit to stand trial due to a mental defect. He is an evil conniving person who believes that my Gramp should take care of him. The man is 44 years old and looks almost 60. If you ever see a picture of a young Charles Manson that's what he looks like, pure evil!
 But the best thing about 2009 was that I found my (step)Son Raymond and his wonderful fiancee' Brooke through Facebook and I have been having some much fun reading and commenting on their posts.
 Well here's too 2010 may it bring us new adventures, hopes, dreams, up and even some downs, because without the downs how can we really appreciate the good things that we have.
 HAPPY NEW YEAR Dear Readers

 

Old Pictures Say a Lot

After my stroke I looked at a lot of family pictures hoping I would remember someone, but the more I looked at them the more I wondered "who do I look like?".
I had two brothers Paul who was murdered years ago and was a year younger than me, looked like our maternal Swedish Grandmother and Michael almost two and a half years younger, has the same evil look of our father and that evil look fits him  as he is pure evil, and should he drop dead tomorrow I would shed tears not of sorrow but of joy.
Then there is me the oldest as I looked at the pictures I felt as if I didn't belong, that I didn't look like anyone in my family which to me was very odd, three children by the same parents and you would not think we were even related, yet Ken had one daughter and two sons by three different women and you can tell they are related
Well the other day my cousin sent my Gramp some pictures of my Mother when she was young and that's when I felt I belonged.
There was one picture of her when she was about 12-14 and it could have been me. I nearly cried with joy because I finally felt as if I belonged somewhere.
There were also pictures of my Gram when she was I guess about 23 or so and I couldn't get over how beautiful she was and I mean along the lines of  Lana Turner or Betty Grable beautiful. It makes me wonder how my Gramp got her because of all the old pictures I see of him they weren't that flattering if you get my meaning. Talk about Beauty and Beast...haha.
Just a side note whenever I talk about Gramp and Gram I am referring to my Mothers parents as they were the ones who raised us after my Mother died when I was eight, again because my Father was pure evil.

Not Much Fussing Over Christmas

 I guess with just me Gramp and Ken Christmas is just another day around here.
We don't decorate maybe a few dodads here and there but I can't get to things and Ken has other things to worry about getting done and decorating is not one of them.
 I know I must have decorated before the stroke because we had at least 20 large tubs of Christmas things which much to everyone who knows me surprise is now down to about 4, and that's including my Hallmark ornaments.
 I got my Christmas shopping done at Hallmark and Kmart and  it took me less than an hour,  much to the amazement of my son Kevin who remembers my pre-stroke shopping trips which would take at times up to 8 hours. I now HATE shopping in stores. I like to browse online but rarely buy because I can't justify paying shipping charges on things I don't absolutely need.
 This year I seem less festive than the last two I just don't really care if it comes and goes. The last two I was so excited waiting for the Christmas shows to come on and listening to Christmas music. Maybe because they were kind of like my "first" Christmases.
 However I enjoyed seeing the Christmas pictures of my friend Joy's little ones and nephew. They did add a bright spot to my life.
 Maybe it's empty nest syndrome or maybe it's seeing my friends either having babies or becoming Grandparents over this past year that's making me a little sad knowing I have to wait to to be a Grandma. :(
 Whatever the case maybe this year I'm just not feeling very jolly even with my Santa hat on.
 I do want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year though.

Kenneth

As most of you who read my posts on Facebook know I am always teasing my husband of over 24 years Ken.
And let me tell you he is an easy target just ask anyone who knows him.
 He is Narcissistic, hot tempered, impatient, and loud.
We are VERY different personalities  yet we seem to compliment each other, why I don't know.
Everything has to be about him, but he will do just about anything for anybody even if it gets him into trouble.
He angers quick and often, but gets over it just as fast and unlike me is not stubborn, just pigheaded.
When you look up the meaning of impatient in the dictionary Ken's picture should be there staring back at you, I have seen him break more things because they aren't going his way because he won't take his time and relax.
And as for the loud he is going deaf because of working around loud music and equipment most of his life, so since he can't hear himself he figures no one else can. I am constantly asking him to lower his voice.

Today I realized why I stayed with him all this time.
I'm in a wheelchair due to a stroke 2 years ago that left me paralyzed on the left side and with complete memory loss of my life.
Now right after my stroke he took it really hard and went to a very very dark place that took him nearly 18 months to come back from.
For the past six months though he has been care taker to me and somewhat to my Gramp.
He makes sure the laundry is done , does most meals, cleans 99% of the house, Gramp help a little there, gets us to our Dr. appts., is trying fix up the house, make repairs to ours and Kevin's cars and is de-hoarding what I collected before my stroke, and let me tell you I wasn't as bad as the people on the TV show but if I hadn't had the stroke who knows(cringing).
So I am dedicating this Blog entry to My Kenneth and all Husbands like him. Thank you for all you do for us.
Still not sure I love you but Starting to :)

Today is my "2nd" Birthday

Today is the 2nd anniversary of my first stroke
Although I have made some progress, I still have a long way to go and the Doctors aren't very optimistic I'll walk again but I'll show them. Besides Ken said he would get me a Yorkie when I start walking again. I want my Yorkie! :)
In my last post I related my first few weeks, well today I will Tell you about my Stay at DeBary Manor Nursing home/rehab.
I knew it was not going to be fun when the transport driver and vehicle stunk of cigarettes. I learned the smell from the nurses that would come back for their breaks reeking of that disgusting odor.
I HATE THE SMELL.
Upon my arrival I was put into a bed by being lifted up on a hoist then it dawned on them that I needed a bed with automatic controls so up I go agin and hang there until they switch beds.
Oh yes this was going to be a fun stay for me.
I tried not to cause trouble but I was not the most agreeable patient. I did cause a lot of trouble there, but being told I was violating my roommates civil rights by asking that her bedside light be put on so the overhead could be turned off made me mad I guess civil rights are apply to some people. By the way she was in such bad shape she didn't even know there was a light on.
Then I was constantly given food I could not eat because of my digestive and allergy issues, so I had have another meal made for me, which did not make the kitchen happy. But hey learn to read English and there would have been no problem. Am I right?
Now comes the housekeeping, if you can call it that more like push the mop into the room then right out.
There was so much dirt and dust everywhere it was unbelievable. When the head of housekeeping came to see what I was talking about he was livid when he ran his finger along the window and door sills and there was about an inch of dust on each and that's not even mentioning what was behind the doors and under the beds and dressers.
Next was one of the Physical therapist who decided she liked placing my left foot in her crotch area with only her jeans as a barrier, while she was exercising my leg. Her boss was more angry with me for complaining then with her worker that she threw me out of the "gym" because I wouldn't let her work with me again.
But dear readers the icing on this lovely cake was when the meds. nurse gave me the wrong meds even though I said they were wrong and it turns out I was allergic to one of them. To this day the home and my former Doctor will not tell me what I was allergic to.
So I called the Patients right council and filed a complaint.
And then a miracle happened I was told I could go home because I was able to walk. Never mind the only way I was walking was by someone pushing my left leg to make it move, but hey I was cured!
I just find it odd two days after filing my complaint this happened, but then again I'm no Doctor or Physical Therapist.
Needless to say Ken and Kevin were just a "TAD" p-o'ed. since I was never taught how to get in and out of a car nor was my house wheelchair accessible.
Yes even though I was deemed able to walk I was still in a wheelchair, hum.
My stay wasn't all bad I did learn some "new" things and most of the nurses and aides were great.
I did learn I HATE Yams, can't even get them past my lips.
Sorry if this is a little long, but hey it was a long month for me. :)
Until next time dear reads please try and be safe and happy.